5 Secrets to Overcoming Indecision

There's a strain that comes with too much freedom. A healthy soul knows that there are no limits to the possibilities of what it could be achieving right now. However, the mind isn't equipped to rationalize limitless options. We become indecisive when we aren't sure of the "best" path, or when we're sure there's always something "better" out there. A problem that I'm grappling with right now is that I haven't been able to make up my mind about how I want my new blog layout to look. I mean, I know that I can make anything happen if I put my mind to it -- but what do I really want to happen?

Here's how I'm narrowing things down so that I can make decisions and finally create something:

1. Pinpoint where your true happiness lies
If there's a gut feeling, follow it. In my case, I know I enjoy the crisp, clean, white-background layouts of many fashion blogs out there, so that's probably what I'll base my design on.

2. Do a little research
Just because you yearn for a certain outcome doesn't mean that it will be the best for you in the long-run. I suggest you check out competition to avoid being sold short. Your gut feeling can change with the right key information.

3. Expose yourself to inspiration
Sometimes all you need is someone to show you the way. I've been looking at the websites of skilled designers, feeding my own designer brain with high-quality images and well thought-out placement of site elements. This will eventually help me to imitate the great.

4. Retreat into your own mind
It is wonderful to be affected and moved by the work of others, but it is up to you to process that information and come up with your own mixture of styles.

5. Choose something
And understand that it's okay to fail, to pick something inferior to the "best" option out there. Keep in mind that you can always update, upgrade, outdo your original decision. This can't be the end of the world. So, don't let it be.

Happy choosing!

Finally Understanding

I always tell my boyfriend that he shouldn't play so many videogames/iphone games/games in general. To me, they don't really accomplish anything besides the occasional increase in reflex speed. Today I connected the dots and realized that it's just what he likes to do. There doesn't need to be a goal or measurable outcome, only fun that results from his hobby. That should have seemed perfectly respectable from the start.

Some of the things that I enjoy in life are: photography, drawing, crafting, reading, writing, and interacting with children. He's got gaming. I understand.

Money is Random

If I want something, and I deem it would be valuable in my life, I buy it. I don't count it coming in, and I don't count it going out. I've tried many times to put a leash on my money, but it only seems to hurt me. I feel more free and I let myself do more when I don't view it as a finite source.

After reading books such as Rich Dad, Poor Dad, I see money as something that I have the capacity to earn. Losing all my money would not be the end for me. Not owning property has allowed me endless freedom. I'm lucky to have a wonderful support network (my family), so I'm not afraid to take risks and enjoy the items that money can buy me. Although I hold a fairly liberal view on money, that doesn't mean I spend recklessly. I'm quite frugal, and quite lucky. I value this luck completely and utterly.

Internet Break = More Inspiration?

So, I was on hiatus for a material-making-monster-appreciation-memorial-day-weekend. Yes. The gifts that I made for important people in my life consumed my weekend and countless hours beyond that. I feel so happy after having given the presents away, however. The crazy thing is, I don't even care if I get anything back in return.

A break from the internet was like me taking a breath of fresh air after having inhaled the stale recycled air of an office building for so long. I stepped outside. Outside of my normal boundaries, and outside of my mental comfort zone. I was finally able to focus on producing and not consuming.

The things I made include:

-a stuffed animal penguin memo holder for my site manager
-a stuffed animal lion memo holder for my other site manager
-5 mini scrapbooks for my team members
-goodie bags for the children in my preschool classroom

Taking on these projects and seeing them through to the end was a real confidence booster. Spending time on gifts for people who are important to me is so much more meaningful than buying presents. Store-bought items can be well thought-out, but are usually last-minute and don't hold the same intrinsic value.

In essence, my vacation from the internet was a productive one, and I'm not sorry that I took it.

The Blogging Gap

As a newcomer to the production of the blogosphere, I have dived head first into analyzing the place. A few trends have stood out.

Striating Differences Between Males and Females
As a female, I closely identify with fashion bloggers, and the whimsical delicate touches of crafts bloggers. I devour personal development blogs, but these are mainly run by men. Now, I'm not trying to say that the market is forcefully weeding out exceptions to stereotypes. On the contrary, the internet makes it apparent that the most creative tend to do the best. And it's not like anyone is forcing these bloggers to write about certain topics. They just naturally gravitate in that direction. And I'm no exception to the rule.

Rule-breakers
Of course, I do see wonderful rule-breakers. A couple of women who've I've taken note of in the past week are Sacha and Allie. Sacha rules. She is one of the most intelligent and constantly growing people that I can think of. Her curiosity is fueled by her motivation to help others by creating value. Allie is awesome because she uses a (sometimes vulgar) sense of humor to brighten up people's days. Her art is all done on a program similar to MS Paint. She is just plain funny.

These women are exceptional in their blogging content and approach because they pop out like striped octopi in a tank full of goldfish.

My hope is that one day I'll be blogging and run across the perfect type of post topic, one that will break a trend, or inspire someone and then become my focus. I will find my niche and it will be epic.

Networking and the Danger of "Invisible"

There are so many invisible things that we are fighting, creating, and absorbing.

When you know a person’s name you feel more of an affinity towards them. I say that it’s ridiculously important to learn other peoples’ names. When you can use that information, they are instantly in your web. Your networking web, that is. You can ask them questions; shout their name when you see them in dangerous situations; invite them to things. The world grows by one more link.

Physical representations of others are only first impressions, and they say little to nothing about how developed one’s internal characteristics are. People walking past us can be severely ignorant, or perhaps know more languages than we can ever hope to learn in a lifetime. As such, how do we ever find the limits of their knowledge?

We don’t.

All we can do is spend time with them and see if there is any growth or enjoyment to be gained from the relationship. If there is, benefits will come to you in time. If there’s not, then the relationship may not be a healthy one for either of you. But to find out, taking risks by choosing friends outside of your comfort zone is essential.

A Little Encouragement Goes a Long Way

It feels so great to encourage others and give out rewards to those who are deserving. It's even more special when that person was never looking for recognition or gifts in the first place. I think that's what makes a strong leader or contributor. It also doesn't hurt when that person is supported by people who have been personally affected by said person's work.

I positively love my work team and the support network within my organization. I can't thank them enough for the love and selfless advice I have received. In my fleeting second year of college, I can honestly say that I've grown significantly thanks to the encouragement of others.

Constant Goals

For the last couple of weeks, I've been taking it easy. I haven't had much success in the way of goal-setting because I was trying my hand at living spontaneously and freely (all of this was done before finals week). Well, it didn't really work out.

Surprisingly, there wasn't a day where I went to bed truly satisfied with my day's work. Without self-education goals, I refrained from extending my mental capacity. I read others' blogs, and found inspiration, but on a low-level, meandering sort of way. I had room and time for dreaming, but didn't find myself to be imaginative. Without exercising discipline in my day, I wasn't able to produce much. Without that, it's impossible to record achievements and spur myself to do better.

I desperately need inspiration and motivation in my life. I do get more accomplished when I've packed my day full of activities, but that doesn't mean that I must let someone else dictate my day. I can self-implement my goals which are usually based self-education about interesting topics.

Here are some things that I'm currently interested in finding out about/working on:

• Finances (including investment strategies, etc)
• Autism (learned partially about this in class today, want to know more)
• Sewing (got started with one of my appreciation projects, want to make my own fashion line)
• Art/Design (how forms come together, how to draw fantastic backgrounds, digital art, web design)
• Increase my reading speed (read about this in Tim Ferriss's 4-hour Work Week, but need to put it into practice more often)
• Exercise (how to stretch the right way, how to work more muscles in a workout)
  

I will soon come out with a more refined idea about how each of these elements will work their way into my life in a patterned manner. As for now, any suggestions on how to further my expertise in any of these areas is much appreciated!

How I deal with Stress

Whenever I have too much work to do, I naturally become stressed. I use one main technique to deal with it all. I plan.

Even when I have way too much to do for the allotted amount of time that I have to complete the tasks, I tend to organize everything into bite-sized pieces and time blocks to complete them by. I give myself generous breaks and time to refresh (e.g., showers, bathroom breaks, eating meals). This helps me to prioritize. If I'm late for class, I don't wash my oatmeal cup.

Robotically planning out a couple of stressful days helps me to de-stress. But when I imagine planning out every single day, minute by minute, I feel suffocated. A cherished part of my life is having the flexibility to do spontaneous things, but when I'm overburdened, I like having a plan.

What's your tool for de-stressing?

Write it Down and You're More Likely to Do It

I've noted - on more than one occasion - that when I write something down I tend to gravitate towards getting it done in one form or another.

During my freshman year in college we were told to write ourselves a one-page reflection at the beginning of the year, outlining our goals, dreams, expectations, whatever. I got it back at the beginning of my sophomore year. Lo and behold I had completed all of the things that I'd set out to do. I was so happy, and I almost couldn't believe it. This was the first realization of the workings of the Law of Attraction.

When I was in Ecuador, reminiscing over my days in the U.S. and missing my freedom to cook, be with friends and family, and learn certain skills, I wrote myself a checklist. I created quite a long list of many activities that I wished to pursue when I got back to the U.S. The funny thing was that I looked over my list again today and found that I had not completed all of the things I'd set out to do. Instead, I found that I've been taking subtle steps to begin achieving those tasks/goals. For example, one of the items on my checklist was to learn how to play soccer. I remember asking one of my friends who plays soccer every weekend to teach me. I didn't even remember that it was on my checklist.

I suppose that a written copy of my goals didn't necessarily draw them closer to my grubby hands, but instead reinforced the fact that I wanted to achieve them sometime. Perhaps writing things down makes me more aware of what I want on a subconscious level.

Try it out!
And let me know what happens.

You can:

• Make checklists
• Write prose
• Put pictures together and create a vision board
• Tell a friend (or beloved pet)
  

I personally prefer something written because I can look back on it to see the context surrounding the goal, and perhaps if I missed any subtleties in the process. It actually comes as a big shocker when you can read over something and it's true to what is actually happening in your life. Whichever way you do it, recording your goals is bound to help you actively seek more ways to conquer your dreams and make them a reality.

Empowerment Vs. Devaluation

The question of today is: Are you empowering or devaluing?

Empowerment is finding the best in people and helping them pursue their goals without questioning their abilities.

Devaluation is writing a person off because you might believe they are too young, inexperienced, or otherwise unable to achieve their dreams.

If you can help a young person become something great, why not do it?

Here are some ways to empower those around you:

• Teach someone a skill you know
• Provide your services anywhere that they are valuable
  
• Be enthusiastic
• Encourage others in their pursuits
  

Inconsideracy is a Disease

So please, don't catch it.

If you do someone wrong, but have at least thought about it and feel guilty, then maybe I still like you. However, if you don't even recognize and assess your wrongdoings, then I don't know if we can be friends. (And that would be a shame.)

Festival for Literacy

What I love about working with kids is I get myself in situations like this, and I don't feel embarrassed at all.

We had our Festival for Literacy today and although there were less children than expected, we still had a great time setting up for the event and encouraging bonding time between Corps Members.

There were fifteen booths in total, and each one had its own theme based on a popular children's book. I was stationed at the "Reading Corner" but actually just bounced around from booth to booth, helping out wherever I was needed, and taking photographs to document the event.

Yay for early childhood literacy!

Mayday May Day!

As I sit here reflecting upon my current life situation, I've realized that things are coming to an end. The end of this school year is 5 weeks away. I'll be parting ways with my beloved coworkers. These have been the main elements of my life for the past year.

There are also many beginnings that are yet to come. The beginning of my (possibly) summer fellowship, my junior year in college, and my third year at my job that will be implementing a new curriculum.

In essence, this spring is a time for goodbyes but also a time for a refreshing perspective -- the kind that I only see once a year.

The Internal Effects of Dancing

Dancing can be a wonderful thing for the body, but what exactly are the internal effects of dancing? In this post I will explore some immediate effects that I've encountered so far in my three lessons in Middle Eastern bellydancing.

Self-esteem
Each session I become progressively more in tune with my body and more awed by the grace in my movements (sounds narcissistic, no?). I'll tell you one thing though. It's a great self-esteem booster when you've been having a bad day.

Multi-tasking
Your feet are moving at a different tempo than your hands are. Does your hair look good? Are you smiling? Is your belt on tight? Don't bend the wrists -- it's bad form.

Knowledge of Other Cultures
My class is taught by a professional bellydancer who models traditional clothing of bellydancers around the world, and educates us about stylistic differences between cultures (e.g., Persian hand and head movements).

Great Observation Skills
Learning choreography is hard. It's especially hard when you're unfamiliar with the movements that are characteristic of the dance. But it's great practice. It's also very complex due to the nature of it all. I mean, you've got to mimic the movements of another person, in a way that transfers well with the composition and physical range of your body. However once mastered, the art is seductive. It's transforming. It's sublime.

Positive Affect
Last session I went into the class feeling drained of all my energy. I came out feeling refreshed and renewed. I don't know how expending energy was able to perk me up, but it did and I'm mystified.

And there you have it. A short list of wonderful (but not physical) effects of dancing.

What Volunteering Accomplishes

I spent some time this past weekend volunteering for Earth Day.

After sacrificing the warmth of indoors for baby tree recovery, one tends to feel pretty good about having volunteered. There is one caveat to the whole volunteering process that I feel like isn't mentioned a whole lot, and that's inflation.

I'm not talking about the kind of inflation that lowers the value of a dollar, but rather the kind that causes egos to rise (self-inflation).

When I hear of people who've volunteered, I tend to see that directly linked to a dusting-off of hands and the allowance of a whole year to pass by before the next session of volunteerism. We seem to think that once is enough and volunteering is only for special occasions. Some say that there is no time to complete much more than a once-yearly deal. Well here's a reality check: We make time for what we want. What is it that you want? If there's truly a change that you want to see in the world, you must take that initiative.

On another note, it's important to reflect upon service as well. Because without that reflection, there is no way to gauge the effect you've had on the community nor the impact that can be had.

Hope to see you all out on the field.

The Spark

An important adult in my life recently suggested that I do something I've never considered -- to take the initiative.

It seems simple, and yet the thought didn't occur to me on my own. Have you ever caught yourself wishing for a situation to become better, only to realize that you could be the very spark that creates that ideal future? It's intoxicating. And empowering.

After I warmed up to the idea of taking the responsibility for the events in my life as well as the life of my organization, it became clear to me that I hold power -- much more than I had imagined.

Writing and Drama: Do They Go Hand in Hand?

Must one have drama in her life in order to become an intense and passionate writer? I say -- to some extent -- yes. However, the magnitude of that drama need not be high.

When authors of fiction sit down to write, their heads brew conflict and turmoil, for those are the fundamental pieces of any story. I feel it's near impossible to create a world of rabid bunnies for your novel if all you've ever experienced are gentle, rolling hills and sunshine.

But what about for expository pieces? Those writers must have had at least some experience in the field of their art. My argument is that it doesn't take previous drama to write an amazing piece, but it does take some know-how of others' drama, and the ability to expound that into the simplest of situations.

Good writers make small things seem big.

The True Source of Meaningful Interaction

I've learned so much today from random interaction with familiar people and strangers. Topics of culture, education, career advice, adult-child interactions, peer-pressure, and volunteerism came up. The catch to these conversations is that these people did not immediately share the knowledge that I found to be most useful and engaging. In fact, the use of guiding questions is what had the most impact on my ability to connect with them.

I asked these people their favorite blank, why they like blank, and how they got started with blank. Forming a genuine conversation is not hard, but you need to be just that -- genuine. It always brightens my day to have communicated with someone in a deep way. So I'd like to pose this question: What have you asked about today?

Bonding Moments

I had a bonding moment today with a girl that I always see but have literally never talked to.

It happened like this: two boys raced down the hallway of our dorm and nearly knocked her over as we were both exiting the bathroom. We looked each other in the eye and immediately had the same thought -- that those boys were being ridiculous.

Each interaction with another person may seem unique at first, but upon further examination it's interesting to note that relationships have patterns. The natural progression of relationships (specifically friendships and romances) has been effectively categorized into steps by scholars such as Julia Wood. She explains that bonding over commonalities is a prevalent factor in strengthening relationships. When you're put into similar situations and/or must endure a situation together, you're more likely to form a connection with the other person. To reflect on this pattern, just think about how many close-knit friendships do you have that began from an initial spark of simple bonding through commonality?